IBS NEWS
BULLET-TIN
REPUGS TAKE NOTICE
BEJING (IBS) May 6, 2001 - The red chinese "Mix and Match Cloning Labratories" have just announced they have successfully
mixed and matched the cloning of a Red Chinese Pug Dog named FooBirdFlusher and a Far Right Wing RePug named Barbara,
answers to the call name of Babs, Babs was reportedly kidnapped last Fourth of July from the far east side of rural Orange County
Californicadia. This announcement caught the far east side rural Orange County Californicadians by complete surprise. There have not
been any reports from any FESROCCdian of any missing, lost or unaccounted for Republican wombman named Barbara in the
past 15 months. The reports of the mixed and matched clone have caused a lot of concern in local Repug circles. The clone is
said to have the outward apperance of a normal FESROCCdian, but has an inbred conservative style loyality to the Red commies
and really knows how to hate.
It is believed that the Red Chinese will attempt to smuggle the mix and match cloned RCP/OCRePug into FESROCC to begin
undermining the moral frabric of FESROCCdians and make an aquaintence and have a call name friendship with each and every gun
owner in FESROCC. This infomation about the intentions of the Red commies and their mix and match cloned RCP/OCRePug
monsters was relayed to this reporter from the secret souse down at "Ivan the Invisible Man Camo
Paint and Battery Shop". The secret souse indicated when the Red Chinese invasion begins in FESROCC that all the RCP/OCRePugs will urinate on
every gun they have located in FESROCC and render the arms useless. The RCP/OCRePugs will accomplish this piss trick by eating a enormous amount
very acidic vine ripened tomatoes changing the PH in the urine to the level of HCL acid that will immeditately corrode a firing mechanisms
rendering all weapons useless making FESROCC defenseless and ensuring FESROCC's capture by the Red Chinese commies without a shot being fired.
Message of the story: Beware of the acid pissing normal looking RePugs in FESROCC or have a corroded firing pin..
Stay tuned for more of the same from our secret souses.
And remember when you need to hide out and lie low or your ride just won't turn over, see
Vern down at "Ivan the Invisible Man Camo Paint and Battery Shop" for all you needs in camo and batteries.
NEW!! Ivan's now has all the latest battery powered devices. All devices packaged in plain brown cardboard boxes and placed in plastic Wal-Mart sacks insuring privacy.
Data for this report was compiled from high and respected BeltWay souses by dedicated IBS News Srevice reporters..
THE TOP 12 THINGS IN GWBUSH'S LIFE.
Bush's favorite movie - Arsenickers and Old Farts
Bush's favorite fish dish - SALMON by chef ELLA
Bush's favorite website - EColi.com
Bush's favorite dessert - Cajun Blackened Crow Higher Pie
Bush's favorite career move - Becoming a self-producing natural methane gas supplier.
Bush's hobby - Sniffing self produced methane gas fumes.
Bush's favorite saying - "I smell a fart, Hehehehehe."
Bush's favorite saying - "The odor of natural gas is hemispherical. Hehehehehe."
Bush's education policy - "Leave no child behind me".
(Not without a gas mask)
Bush's favorite toy - Whoopee cushion he got in Times Square in 1988.
Bush's cabinet meeting duties - Hiding the whoopee cushion in Dick's chair.
Bush's # 1 question to his cabinet - "Why do my farts have lumps?"
Source - IBS UnderCover News Service
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